Living with awareness

“How we walk with the broken speaks louder than how we sit with the great” (Bill Bennot)

Whether we like to admit it or not, we are all broken in one way or another. By saying this, I am not referring to a broken limb or a heart condition, although these ailments will indeed tether our abilities and curtail our mobility. I am rather referring to a brokenness of spirit or an emotional challenge that stands in the way of the human being living to the full. When our spirits are low or when confronted by inadequacies, we typically attempt to compensate for this brokenness in ways that actually drive more dysfunctional behaviour and heighten excessive internal stress. We don’t want to be seen as broken, so camouflage our condition or attempt to hide it in order to survive and be viewed as whole. This often works out in a number of ways, e.g.:

• Bravado — “everything is just fine — there’s no need to be concerned, as I am okay”. This amounts to ignoring the brokenness deliberately so as to create the impression of composure — a brave front that unfortunately drives further hurt and pain.
• Skirting — deflecting away from the real issues and focusing on achievement in other areas of one’s life.
• Withdrawal — not wanting to be seen for who we are, so becoming reclusive and thus more depressed.

Although there are many factors that influence our respective psyches and levels of brokenness, it seems that healing becomes possible when self-awareness and awareness of the pain of others becomes our practiced reality. By this I mean that it becomes our charitable behaviour towards ourselves and towards others:

1. Towards ourselves — self-awareness is honesty with one’s own condition and taking steps to find paths that lead to emotional, mental and psychological health. Self-evaluation is always difficult, and one may need help to unravel any dysfunctional and self-destructive thought processes, but healing comes when we confront issues that pull us down and find alternative ways of looking at how we consider ourselves. If done well, we can move from mere survival to living fully.
2. Towards others — though some people may attempt to live life from a purely selfish, self-centred perspective, it is in giving of ourselves to others that we find out greatest sense of meaning. And so, as we search for meaning, one of the best places to look is outward — toward others — using the principle of charity. Dr Stephen R Covey (Everyday Greatness, Reader’s Digest) notes: “Too often the meaning of charity is reduced to the act of giving alms or donating sums of money to those who are economically disadvantaged. But charity, in its purest forms, involves so much more. It includes the giving of our hearts, our minds, and our talents in ways that enrich the lives of all people — regardless of whether they are poor or rich. Charity is selflessness. It is love in work clothes.”

Life is not solely about success, achievement or sitting on seats with the great, but also with walking with the broken and bringing healing by giving ourselves. As we give others hope, we begin a healing process in ourselves. It all starts with awareness and is then followed by charity — to ourselves and then to others.

Originally published at https://www.stretchforgrowth.com on July 14, 2024.